Like, when a stranger shows an interest and makes the first move to have a conversation, here’s how I usually react (physically, spiritually and mentally):
1. Stranger glances past by me and walks straight.
He can go to hell or whatever.
2. Stranger glances past by me and looks twice. Sometimes with a goofy grin intact, idk… why do these jokers always occupy my space……
a. I look up and give an obligatory smile cos I don’t smile and smiling like a normal person isn’t my forte.
b. Stranger says hi. I just give him an awkward smile again.
c. Can I sit here? Stranger reacts. (at my workplace, in office.)
d. me: er, sure. The table is not exclusive for me only. (I assume I come off as jokey-Jokey but nooooooooooooooo I think I sounded serious and stranger starts to feel uncomfortable while sitting across me. Lord help the man. Or me.)
f. Is that a macbook pro? (I work in a company that represents a MAJOR-brand windows computer LMAO
i’m such an outlaw for bringing my macbook pro to work hehe.)
g. I replied, “why, yes.”
h. *Stranger starts to relax and smile* How much do they cost? Cos er, I have a friend who has an advertising company and er, graphic designers uses them, don’t they?
Mental note: Not really the most eloquent stranger. Life goes on.
i. Yes, graphic designers mostly prefer macbooks to do their designs blablablah mine costs abt 3+k (SGD3,000+)
j. Stranger almost faints in his seat. “That’s pricey!”
k. Well, you can get a smaller one… 2k? Or maybe macbook air?
I can’t bring myself to continue describing this.
My life is sad.
Idk why I always have this strong stance/exterior like I have a dick and two balls. Why can’t I be demure? or slightly demure? My parents had hoped for a boy after having my older sister but 7 fricken years later, I was born. With a vagina intact. So, I apologize for that. But I’m not completely screwed. It’s not like I have an identity crisis or gay or anything. I have girl crushes from time to time but I’m still ramrod straight.
Why can’t I score a normal male in this society? I admit I don’t put myself out there too much - I’m never the flirty type. My mother is “flirtier” than me at age 58. wth.